Simplicity & Independence

A Note on Simplicity.

One thing I’ve definitely come to value more and more since I’ve been in India is the value of simplicity.  America is known worldwide for its consumer based culture and the excessive amount of ‘stuff’ we accumulate.  Sometimes we buy stuff to make ourselves feel better, sometimes it’s just too good of a deal to pass up, and sometimes we feel the need to replace perfectly fine and workable things with shiner and prettier things.  Mostly due to the overall low economic status of India, the accumulation of ‘things’ is not as highly valued.  You won’t find cabinets filled with collections of china dolls or beany babies.  It’s rare to find anything that comes close to resembling a junk drawer filled with those items you use on average once every five months.  The overall décor can be described as basement furniture your parents kept from the early seventies with an Asian twist.  Technology isn’t sleek and new and overall functionality and practicality play a greater role than the desire to impress through the things you own.  In India and other parts of the world not yet hit by this excessive facet of western culture you find a lot of space where you’re used to finding stuff, both mentally and physically.  It’s a refreshing feeling to open my closet and instead of being overwhelmed by ten thousand wardrobe choices to find the functionality of 5 outfits.  In America I always felt my head was spinning from the constant division of time between school, friends, family, work, internships, volunteering, free time and finding ways to make each division of time as productive as possible.  Time management isn’t much different here but the elimination of unnecessary clutter has had a big impact on my overall ability to focus and to help clear my mind of unnecessary clutter as well.  The elimination of television and the Internet has definitely played a large role as well although it does have me at a slight disadvantage with regards to current events and relative media topics.  Basically, when I return to the states I don’t see myself living off of 2 t shirts, dirty sandals and forcibly cutting myself off from all media ties.  I do see myself, however, making strong considerations about the necessary and unnecessary things in my life that play a part in passive distractions from areas that deserve greater levels of attention.

A Note on Independence.  

This one…I’m still struggling with.  Personal independence, something so highly regarded in an American mindset, is something that’s not strongly valued in India.  In America it’s the expected norm to leave home as soon as you’re old enough or finances permit but in India, you’ll find grown, financially stable adults living with their parents even after their married.  Parents are so involved in their children’s lives that they hold a very strong say in who their children marry and there have been many cases where love marriages hold a back seat to arranged marriages in the interest in pleasing the parents. The strong, deep rooted family ties which are common throughout India put family and community at a greater value than the individualistic mindset.  Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing… but coming from a person who thought herself ready to move out on her own at 8 years old combined with an irrational yet deep rooted dislike for all authoritative figures makes it hard as a 21 year old to have a 10:30 curfew along with constant reports of where I’m going, with who, and when.  Of course it’s not only Indian culture that requires parents to be a bit more controlling and protective of what you do when, I’m also a foreigner.  Traveling through any foreign country requires a heightened level of awareness with respect to understanding the norms and keeping yourself safe in a new environment.  But I’m the worst kind of foreigner you can be if you’re seeking independence, a female foreigner.  Given the high incidences of rape and sexual violence towards women in India you may say, ‘Well duh, independence is a small price to pay for your safety in a foreign country like India.’

 My response would be that although it is a legitimate issue, over half of all cases of rape and sexual abuse happen within the family home, America has a higher per capita rate of rape, and it’s common knowledge to travel in well lit, well-populated places at night in large groups.  I have also never felt uneasy or unsafe at any point during my time in Pune and found living back home in North Philadelphia a more viable threat to safety.  I really don’t have much of an issue having a 10:30 curfew at night, most places close by that time anyway.  It’s more so the issue of being an adult who’s been living on my own for the past couple of years to be reinstated with rules, curfews, and someone to answer to.  It is humbling, though, sometimes to be put back into my place.  Even as a child I considered any rule to be open for discussion (note: my parents were fairly strict growing up even by Indian standards so this was more of a nature borne trait rather than nurture) but parenting techniques are a bit different here where rules leave no room for conversation.  If curfew is 10:30 and I ask for an extension till 11 pm, I’ll more likely be met with laughter than with any kind of further discourse.